Fast forward…

Ok… I’m gonna share about something’s that have happened this week. Yes, I’m skipping some years of my journey with endo but I promise I will go back and share it all. This week has been tough! 

Just when I thought things were looking up….ughhhh! Ok so as of right now, right this minute I have been endo free for at least ten months; with the uncertainty of when it’s gonna show back up. Last Friday I started having some very severe pain in my right ovary, debilitating kind of pain! I pushed through it because I really didn’t want to think anything was wrong or that the endo was back. The pain got worse with every day that passed.  So Tuesday I got appointment to see my doc, he had the hospital work me in for a sonogram.  Oh joy!! Doc got the results and set me up an appt. to see my OB the next day. 

The next day rolls around and guess what my OB wants another sonogram! Let’s not forget I’m in so much pain I can barely walk! So I’m watching the screen as he is doing the sonogram and as soon as he scans my right ovary there it is…….a GRAPEFRUIT sized cyst on my only ovary! 

Of course I start I crying because he starts telling he doesn’t think it’s cancer or endo(which is great!!) but that it’s a cyst that will continue to grow!! I can either take lupron injections (menopause) or have surgery! I’m tired of being cut on! I want to be a mom! What choices do I really have??? I’m heartbroken right now and just frustrated! 

I just want so bad to be healthy!! Stay strong endo warriors! It may not ever get any easier but always know there are many women out there who understand everything you are going thru because they are going thru it too! 

Psalm 147:3

Not again!! 

So after the fun year of hot flashes and mood swings (just a little sacasm) I stopped the injections. My body went right back to working like before…with lots of PAIN! I was able to get through about another year before I was doubled over and crying in front of my doctor again. Of course I heard the dreaded word, surgery! I just wanted to scream! Medical debt was piling up and the pain only got worse with every cut! (Laparoscopic)

I was beginning to think I was pro at this. I got everything worked out at my job for time off and prepared to recover for at least two weeks maybe even less. I was ready to get it over with! 

Right before the doctor broke the bad news of the endo being back; I had recently met a guy and started dating him. I was pretty dang smitten with him. When surgery rolled around we had been dating about three months.  He told me he would help me and be by my side through it all. I knew I had found a good one but was he too good to be true? 

He stayed true to his word! During surgery I lost one ovary and Fallopian tube and couldn’t leave till the next morning. He let my mom go home to get some sleep and stayed at the hospital with me that night. I remember vomiting late that night, which I had never done that before with the first two surgeries. 

Next morning when I’m discharged he gets loaded up and takes me home. He made sure I had everything I needed until he had to go to work. I was in pain but doing great for about 24 hrs then things took a turn…. I couldn’t eat anything without vomiting. 

My mom calls the doctor, and of course they say for me to come to ER! Oh how I loathe that place at this point, I don’t want to go back! Ok if I have to go, I’m getting a shower first!!! Get there and they start running test, hooking me up to machines, and poking me with needles. Then 3 doctors come in and tell I need emergency surgery! What???? Then they call in a fourth doctor to convince me to let them cut me open. They start telling me they think my bowels maybe perforated. 

I told them…. I feel fine, I will come back in a few days if I get worse. Yall are not cutting me open! Doctor then says…You could be DEAD in a few days if we don’t go in and check! Ok well I guess there is no arguing with that. I texted my boyfriend and told him what was going on because he was at work and I’m crying. My mom is trying to call my dad; and in flies a couple of nurses who strip me of my clothes, get me in a gown, turn up my pain meds, I tell my mom I love her, and I’m whisked down a hall. Now these people are running with me! Then my bed stops in the hallway and these people appear from all directions and they are smiling and calling me by name! 

This is either a bad dream or a bad movie scene! They wheel me into a room, it’s bright and very cold. They strap my arms down and tell me to count back from 100 and for me to enjoy my sleep. I wake up screaming a few hours later while 3 itty bitty nurses are trying to pick me up and put me in the bed. One nurse who was 9 months pregnant and 90 lbs soaking wet. When they realize I’m dead weight at 5’5 130 lbs they ask me if I can get in the bed myself! Sure! Why not? I just had two surgeries back to back. One where I was cut from here to Texas on belly but yeah how bout a quick jog down the hall too! Five days there and a little over a month off work. Endo hurts! Stay strong and keep your head up!